hanging fire

Hanging Fire
by Audre Lorde (p872)

I am fourteen
and my skin has betrayed me
the boy I cannot live without
still sucks his thumb
in secret
how come my knees are
always so ashy
what if I die
before the morning comes
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

I have to learn how to dance
in time for the next party
my room is too small for me
suppose I die before graduation
they will sing sad melodies
but finally
tell the truth about me
There is nothing I want to do
and too much
that has to be done
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

Nobody even stops to think
about my side of it
I should have been on Math Team
my marks were better than his
why do I have to be
the one
wearing braces
I have nothing to wear tomorrow
will I live long enough
to grow up
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

Well first off I thought this poem was simply about growing up and fitting in. However the line “and my skin has betrayed me” got me thinking about other possibilities beyond human hormones, but rather: racial tension. So I did a quick search on Audre Lorde and found that she was a Caribbean-American writer, poet, and activist. And the fact that the poem was written in 1978 provides a greater correlation to racial tensions due to the recent civil rights movement.

With this in mind, the poem really emphasizes the inequalities that blacks had to face during that time. The fact that “Nobody even stops to think about my side of it” and that she “should have been on the Math Team my marks were better than his” shows that the girl has been treated unfairly. The speaker advocates change and progression, yet she is hindered by society’s ignorance. Also, “hanging fire” is an idiom that means to stall or delay which again supports the speakers urge for change.